monday/mercy day

I am going to start this post off with some reflection of Lamentations 3:19-33
His mercy renews each day. His mercy and love and compassion for Justin (or me) will NOT run out no matter what the doctors say or how Justin feels. When we throw our hands up in defeat or bury our faces in blankets smeared with tears or even when we want to punch something in the throat...His mercy for us reigns. When affliction doesn't even seem like a harsh enough word...his mercy overcomes. When the future looks exhausting and we want to run away and hide...the Father has a stockpile of mercy just waiting for us to rest in. His resting place. His resting place which is prepared for each of us for such a time as this. Justin's resting place is with the Lord and mine is too...but our place's look so different. Only a mighty mighty God could prepare a place for each of us. Design it with grace, compassion and hope...fill it with love and call us by name to it. He is good.

Today's news from the hospital is: Not great. Not Terrible. Confusing.
Make sense? Of course not.

Here are the facts.
1. Justin's mental state has returned to about 95%! Praise. His feisty little attitude is back and his jokes make more sense now. As far as I know I have not made anymore appearances on the real housewives of atlanta ;)
2. The lab results we were awaiting showed that Justin has ZERO immune system. Literally. There are two numbers the Infectious Disease Dr was looking for. CD19 which deals with viral and CD4 which deals with bacterial. Both non existent. Basically, this is very very dangerous. It also means that the likely hood of Justin contracting one infection/virus after another is very very likely.
3. The immunosuppressants that he takes daily are mostly to blame in these low numbers. (In addition to his just generally wacky body)
4. Without those meds he would have autoimmune flare ups often and would have to take high steroid doses to be able to tolerate the pain/symptoms/flare ups.
5. High steroid therapy is what caused his AVN which caused him to have two hip replacements this past summer.
6. You see where this is going? Yes. A big fat ugly circle. <----- fact.="" p="">
So, for now the plan is just whatever. I mean, really. We are going to finish these 10 days of antivirals. Tomorrow the doctor will decide if he can finish here or at home. We will need to work on immune suppression therapy to see if we can find a way to balance all of this.
I have an ugly attitude right now and that is on the FACT list. Good thing I serve a God of conviction and forgiveness so I can go ahead and get over myself. Thanks for keeping up, y'all.