HE IS ENOUGH

Is He sufficient? Does He fulfill my every need? Was shedding His blood upon the cross enough? Tough questions right? We should ask ourselves these EVERY day. No matter what we are walking through. Are we giving Him the credit He deserves?

The grace, love and hope provided by Him IS enough. Always.

His presence is undeniable.

Wouldn't you think that Justin would be angry and hateful right now? Dont you think he should be lying in bed with a pillow over his face? Don't you wonder why we haven't thrown our hands up and decided to sleep in on Sunday mornings?

We find rest in Him. Peace. Calmness. Restoration.

In fact Justin is quite the opposite of angry. He has found the silver lining. He is more transparent, yes. Honest and real, yes. But that's what makes him so adorable. You will never walk into the Mac Shack and wonder what the 5 of us are thinking. We usually won't wait for you to ask either :) Some things are better left unsaid...but we just have a hard time with that. We get to live in this glass house right now. We have one chance to shout from the rooftops who our redeemer is. Just one life here on earth. The truth is the truth and that is that.

Justin's daily battles are something I will NEVER be able to fully understand. I really wish I could. My heart breaks each day when I watch his diseases progress with my eyes. If I can SEE it.. What does it FEEL like? Unfair is the understatement of the day. Justin is gracious with me and others for that matter. We are so ignorant to how he feels, and that doesn't bother him. sometimes I forget he is sick because he is so handsome. I think he really likes it when I do :) His identity is not sickness. He is a very hard worker, an amazing daddy, committed husband, super fun friend and devoted student. He doesn't just have to KNOW he is sick. He has to see it and feel and hear it day in and day out.

As each doctors appointment brings more and more heartache...we have to dig deeper into this faith. And as we dig deeper we find out that its not all about US. There are some who are suffering so much more. When we cry out for help we are shown deeper and harder trials, and we find a way to feel blessed. We look at our home and precious children and our friends and family and beds and dinner and jobs and we feel RICH. Rich with love from our king. We will not stop shouting from the rooftops.

You can't make us.

right where we are supposed to be

The river house is our most favorite place in the whole wide universe. We are relaxed to the max here. There is no need for checking the time or setting an alarm clock. There is no need for anything other than sweat pants, tshirts and maybe a little camo.
We stay up late and sleep in late. We skip naps and then take extra naps the next day. We have two naked babies that love to skip around in the freezing cold river. We have a big boy that could ride on the ranger from sun up to sun down. We cook and laugh and admire the beautiful scenery that the Lord prepared. We feel blessed and privileged to be here every single second of each day. Although I did have to make a few phone calls to reschedule and schedule doctors appointments...we were able to spend most of this special vacation being "sick free" -
which is GOOD.
There is nowhere to be but where we are.
There are quite a few appointments coming up in the next few days. Several on Friday and liver biopsy results Monday. There has been quite a bit of swelling and pain, but Justin is a warrior and he complains so minimally. He is not going to miss an opportunity to do "man things" with the boys. There are times when I wish we could do more, I wish he tired less easily and that he could be pain free for even just 5 minutes. But then I remember...there is nowhere we are supposed to be but where we are. This is exactly where we are and no matter how tricky and frustrating it is...God has big big plans for us. Plans to prosper and NEVER to harm. How will He use Justin through this terrible situation? I see Him working already every day, but God has more in store. A whole bunch more. I pray that I can bring some of this state of mind home with me. I don't always know where my phone is when I am here. I don't have a schedule. We don't watch TV. I let the boys go outside after baths. We have picnics in the middle of the afternoon when it isnt really "meal" time. We dont talk about doctors appointments at dinner time. We eat all the leftovers. We dont spend any money. We do not forget to say grace.
I know all of these things are not a reality ALL of the time when we get home...but there is no reason we cannot try and implement some of these precious moments into our everyday lives.

Sometimes babies are just not tired for a nap at the river house. As you can see here, Braxton was NOT tired. He insisted on staying up to play and said " i no go night night." He was clearly wide awake and not one tiny bit tired.

Bryce gets some good quality daddy time in at the ranch.
Let's face it, big boys get to do the coolest stuff. That is just the deal.

It is always a treat when Pop Pop is around. He gains two little shadows the second he walks in.

We made lots of yummy food this week. Not all makers/paleo necessarily...but clean for sure. Bryce helped me make homemade donuts on Monday morning. They were pretty much amazing and Bryce thought I was a rockstar and there was no scary ingredients that we couldnt pronounce in them :)

My morning cup of coffee (also known as my morning pot of coffee) was best enjoyed with the view of the river.

Here is Justin and Mitch being SUPER tough guys. I mean these guys are in full on protection mode right now. Saving lives and taking names.
Not.

This sort of thing makes my dad and hubby like me more.

We are just right where we are supposed to be.

one minute

I am not sure what you are doing tomorrow...but I would like to request 60 seconds of your time.

In one minute you can do some serious praying. A power prayer if you will. Between the hours of 7am and 10am Justin will be under anesthesia for a liver biopsy. He is pretty pass the salt about the whole deal and just feels like its just another day in the life of Justin.

So bottom line is pray.

Besides the obvious praying for the doctors wisdom and blah blah...I thought of a few other things that you could choose from.

1. Thank you Jesus for loving Justin. No matter what his health situation or his attitude about it...you love him. Like a whole whole bunch. Not only do you know how many hairs are on the top of his head, but you know what is going on with each and every cell of his body. Thank you Jesus for loving those cells and loving them well.

2. Thank you Jesus for using Justin. You oh so clearly have some great plans for this amazing man. We have seen the fruit of that in many ways. But Jesus you have more in store and its good. We know Lord that you are in the business of healing and miracles, but you are also in the business of showing your mighty face through suffering. Thank you Jesus for using Justin and our family.

3. Jesus you have plans to prosper Justin and not to harm him. Whether you heal him here on this earth or bring him home to you...we know that your perfect will is in store for him. We beg and plead with you to heal him here so that he can give you the glory and be a husband, father and friend. Thank you for your perfect plan Jesus.

So those little prayers seem minute-ish.

I know many of you pray for Justin very often and for much longer than a minute. The Lord hears your cries ALL of the time. All day and all night. I am thankful and excited to know how many people will stop and lift him up without even being prompted.

I have learned a lot about prayer in the past year. I have learned to not just call up Jesus and give Him my wish list and hang up on his ear. I have learned to ask Him what He wants from me before I ask Him to help me with anything. I have a lot more to learn and a lot more to hear. I am ready...are you??

let us rejoice

This is where I grew up.

I moved here the month after I turned 5 years old and lived here until the summer I graduated high school. Lots and lots of memories. I have not been back here since the day before my moms funeral. My mom was my very best friend...we sat on the front bench together and on the swing in the back. She used to spy on us from the front room...and we all totally knew it. It hurts to think of all she is missing out on these days. I have changed lots and lots over the past 3 years...and I wish she was here to be a part of it. We are just 5 days away from the 3 year anniversary of her passing. I want her back just as much today as I did the day she left. I want her to know Braxton and love Brody and be with her favorite buddy Bryce. I want to be able to cry on her shoulder about my sweet husband. I want her to help me take care of the boys while I take care of him. God has provided so many precious people to fill in lots of the gaps

...but I still just miss HER.

The reason I stalked my old house is because I was in town this weekend for some wedding showers and to see my dad ride in on the Salt Grass Trail Ride.

I am so honored to be a part of my friend Amanda's wedding! She was one of my first friends when I got to high school. She stood by my side at my wedding and I cannot wait to share her special day with her.

We got to see my dad ride in on Friday morning.

This guy is a for real deal famous cowboy around these parts...

A little sidenote: Brody like to play dress up.

Scrubs, bandana, construction vest, pink skirt, chaps...and a baby.

Have I ever mentioned that I have the best job ever?

This is me and Katie's class last week at the teddy bear picnic.

I have some sweet friends that have some fun stuff coming up. I am thrilled to be a part of a community that thrives on serving others. We are all walking different paths...and we are all here to be a part of each others story.

How can YOU be a part of it?

Check out these links...

One Less Race

Baker Family Adoption

Thank you for continuously lifting my family in prayer. I am taking a little break from medical updates...there is just nothing positive nor earth shattering to report. All I know for now is that God has given me an opportunity to shout our blessings from the rooftops. I am in.

In our weakest hours...I have seen His face so clearly.

D Now 2012

Disciple Now is my new most favorite thing in the world. Our house was bursting with laughing teenagers that love the Lord all weekend. They were AMAZING. Respectful, so well behaved, silly, incredibly good with the baby Macs and just flat out awesome. They blessed us big time.

We had 10 8th grade boys and 3 college leaders that came to stay with us. We filled their bellies with junk food and let them do their thing. They included Bryce (without being asked) in so many things. He felt so special. They made him feel like a rockstar and I am just so happy that he now has some really positive "big boys" to look up to. I went to all the sessions (and sat in the back with the other "old" people lol) and Justin came as often as he was up for. It was incredible to watch the youth just worship so freely together. I loved watching them take notes and soak up every word from the speakers. The Lord was so present in our community this weekend. There is a movement in the town of Boerne. It is undeniable.

This is our incredible group of guys. Bryce, Brody and Braxton thought they were the coolest.

And we thought they were pretty darn cool too :)

Bryce sat with them during the sessions.

He even ditched us this morning at church to go find "the guys"

There are 10 boys asleep under all of this...I am not really sure where they are.

Lots of big stinky shoes.

it was great

This is what my car looked like on the way home Friday night.

more stinky shoes. so awesome.

brax schooled these guys at connect four launchers.

how cool is it that they WANTED to play with the babies?

junk food city

there was not one paleo item in the house this weekend

my body is craving veggies big time

seriously. bryce was on cloud nine.

"the guys" did bryce's hair on saturday morning.

caught sweet eli in this precious moment of prayer

WHEN THE PERFECT IS BROKEN

Thank you SO much to those of you who gave pledges to Bryce for the Run for Refuge. He worked really really hard and earned FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS! He was not first...but he was second and we think that is pretty stinkin great!

He had NO idea he was going to win a prize!!

So we are exhausted..."the guys" can go to bed at 4am... wake up and down a 2 liter of coke and a few donuts and be good to go. us, well, not so much. naps happened today and we are VERY excited that the presidents are giving us a day off tomorrow.

Someone dear to us mentioned today that bringing these kids into our home brought some life back into our house. It gave us a glimpse of our future and we have a LOT to look forward to.

valentines

So the whirlwind of our lives have really hijacked our blog over the past 7 months. We have always had a "story"...but this past 7 months have been a whole new crazy. The Lord is speaking to us and using us and showing us lots and lots of good stuff.

I wanted to go a little retro today and share some love. Our sweet boys had a very fun Valentine's Day and they just deserve a little show off.

Braxton made me a card that said "Who loves you?"

and this was inside...

We made heart shaped mini pizzas for our v-day dinner.

Brody was in charge of the cheese....

Bryce decided he better be in charge of his own cheese...

I cannot even tell you how much sauce Braxton's pizza had on it. There were no rules in this pizza making party...that is why we did it outside :)

Brody made me this card that said "I mustache you a question...will you be my valentine?"

Have you EVER seen a cuter mustache? He sure gives Pop Pop a run for his money.

The boys made their teachers and their "special valentines" chocolate covered marshmallows and chocolate and peanut m&m covered pretzels.

Bryce got to make a mailbox for his valentines at school. We had a fun craft day with Ms. Joanie and came up with this fun idea! He had a great time putting it all together and couldnt want to show his class.

We were entered into a facebook contest by some of our super sweet friends. The contest was for a personal flight tour of the hill country provided by www.airtourtx.com.

WE WON!

We are so so thankful to the 251 people who voted for us! We cannot wait for our flight (scheduled for feb. 26). The man who offered this tour has a wife who WON the fight against cancer. When I spoke to him I found out that they are fellow crossfitters and have an incredible faith. We are blessed by their generosity and cannot wait to get to know them better!

We are extremely excited to be a host home for Disciple Now this coming weekend. We are anxious for a house full of teenage boys...because lets face it...that is totally our future! We are both honored to open our home and watch the Lord work in some great kids. The outreach project for this weekend is the Run for Refuge. The run will benefit a safe house for victims of human trafficking. Bryce is SO excited to get to be a part of this run and my precious boy raised $260!! I do not know who is more proud...us, him or our friend Pastor Danny :)

We are so blessed by our incredibly connected church family.

And I think that is enough for today :)

a heavy heart

A heavy heart is a huge burden to carry. It truly feels like a ton of bricks on your shoulders. Weighing all your thoughts down. Why don't you just drop that load off on the cross? Why don't you just let others stand in the gap and carry that load for you? Good questions. Really good questions. Why isnt it easier to to give our Father what He wants from us? He doesnt want us to carry anxiety, stress, heartache or sadness. Not one bit. He does not want that for his children. Why do we insist on keeping it all to ourselves when there is a great awesome man who WANTS it. He WANTS to carry it. Take it away. Wash it clean. And refresh us and fill us up with something better. Why is it so easy to take on others burdens or to worry when we said we won't? Worry about nothing and pray about everything. Except as we pray we worry. Why is it so darn hard?

The answer...

I.DON'T.KNOW.

Insightful right?

NOT.

A choice is made each morning to wake up and praise our father that we are awake. That we have one more day here to spread His good word and to love our loved ones. But there is a spiritual battle going on. Everyday. Everywhere.

It is hard to accept sometimes what a broken world we live in. It hurts. It's heavy.

Yucky dark post right?! Where is all that sunshine I usually spout out?? It is hidden behind a dumb dark cloud right now. One that will be lifted as soon as I get out of the way and let Jesus fill me up. Like He wants to.

I have really stepped back in some areas recently and it has allowed the Lord to really work in me. He has more ways to use me. I am not just a sick person's wife. I am His daughter. I am part of His beautiful plan. I have work to do while I am here. Justin has work to do while he is here. I pray that we are able to show our children how great it is to rely on the Lord. I hope they see us fall...and then get back up. I pray that they will see our hearts and challenge us. I pray that they will not put God in a box and just visit Him on Sundays. I pray that they will cherish the hard times and take full advantage of the opportunity to grab those moments by the horns and praise Him and press deeper into the word.

I pray that my boys will let their ears and hearts be opened for when the Lord has something to say. Because people...He is talking. We just are not very good listeners. How can we hear Him if we NEVER shut up. (Obviously I talk a lot...this is an issue for me...I am working on it OK)

Dark cloud...Please go away. I have no time for you. Worry and stress and anxiety...you should get a life. Seriously.

No major updates in medical town. Nothing is better. Some things are worse. The lack of communication between Justin's 13 doctors is taking a toll. There is a beautiful rainbow on the other side of this. A sparkly one. With glitter.

thanks for keeping up

xoxo

cleveland closed...for now

Some doors have recently been closed. We prayed hard for the Lord to show us what we were supposed to be doing. We have often felt lost during this time or like the cast members of a really confusing movie (like inception). Last week a BIG door was closed. We didnt realize right away because we were too busy freaking out...but a big important door closed. We will not be going back to Cleveland. After much prayer and lots of consultation with his MANY doctors that see him here, a decision was made. Chasing a doctor that can "cure" Justin is becoming a burden that is just not worth it. Not that Justin's life isnt worth every dollar/plane trip/doctor visit in the world. It is. He is worth more than the stars in the sky. He is a son to the king. He is a daddy. He is a precious and handsome and amazing husband. He is a friend. He is really funny. It is just physically, emotionally and medically no longer necessary for him to "chase a cure" It sounds like defeat, but it is really so much more. It is rest. It is peace. It is understanding. We are helpless and hopeful at the same time. That is a pretty tricky place to be. It requires LOTS of constant time at the foot of the cross. Continuously pouring into His word. Asking often for forgiveness and more strength for when we get angry/mad/really sad. So what does this mean? It means for now we are going to stick with the 9 local doctors that he has. We are going to consider the term that he has been deemed "unfixable"...and we are going to just wait for the Lord to show us what to do next. He saw a nuerologist on Friday who really gave him a lot of insight into what he should look forward to and what he should just accept for now. He sent him for a brain MRI and did a few other tests that we will hopefully have results from on Tuesday. He will also hopefully have some results available tomorrow from the eye specialist. So when the doctors from Cleveland called to cancel Justins appointment...it was really an answer to much prayer.

no sleep for the whiny

I do not even know where to begin.

So, how about with a verse.

Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Yup. I will need to remind myself of this one like every single five seconds.

The past 10 days have been busy busy. Thankfully some good time with friends sprinkled in...but mostly business. Doctor business.

His swelling, vision, reflux and stomach pain has been the same = not so good.

Justin saw the pain management doctor. He was extremely aggressive with the treatment plan, so let us just pray for some relief! He saw his pulomonologist who reported minimal changes in his lung function. He will continue to keep a close eye on him, but was mostly concerned that he needs a new treatment plan. Justin had chemo on Thursday at the Boerne Start Center. He took it like a champ and our Pastor came and kept us company. It really wore him out and he was pretty much down and out for the following three days. He saw his hematologist on Monday (liver doctor) and he has some serious concerns. He will need to do a liver biopsy in a few weeks to get some more information. Not excited about that. Obviously. Saw the gastroenterologist today and he is hoping now that Justin is off the fancy antibiotic (voriconizole) that he will be able to start domperidone aka cananda med (that is no longer a canada med but now the matt med). He reported that Justin's motility is definitely impaired and that issue along with the hardened esophagus will probably not see better days. He had a few new ideas on how to work with reflux/other tummy issues. We brought home some samples and will see him again soon. While at the gastro, the eye specialist called to ask if Justin could come in quickly for some additional testing. There is concern about permanent vision loss...results will not be available until Monday when he returns to the office. He will see the nuerologist on friday.

Monday we are scheduled to see the eye specialist and then leave for Cleveland.

Late this afternoon the Cleveland Clinic called to let us know that Justin's appointment will need to be rescheduled. The doctor has jury duty and there is no availability until March.

Oh yeah. You bleeping read that right.

There is a little man hammering at my heart right now and dropping rocks into the pit of my stomach. I know for sure that the Lord has big (great) plans for us....including the whole Cleveland biz...But phooey. We are weary. Worried. Frustrated and oh flip flop...

Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I knew I would need this reminder. SO HARD. Harder than hard. I am thankful for the peace he washes over us when we are in our most wacked out weary moments. When we flip the lid and lose our marbles. That peace is always there waiting for me when I shake the yuck outta my head and open my eyeballs. Always there.

OUR plan was to go to Cleveland Monday...hopefully not get admitted...do second round of chemo thursday and then have a nerve block pain back shot thingy friday. Maybe that is still the plan. It is so hard not to know. I am a planner. A check off the list, pack three extra outfits, plan snacks, write itineraries kinda gal. This is no bueno for me. Justin finally reached the doctor in the 11th hour and he basically said there was nothing he could do. He said he NEEDS to see Justin and assess him. He said the long term affects of being on such a high dose of steroids continuously for 7 months are unmentionable and he cannot make treatment changes over the phone.

Can I just say BLEEP one more time?!

We will here back from the Cleveland Rheumatology Department tomorrow.

Humph. And Ugh.

I need the peace train to run me over right about NOW.

Hopeful and Thankful and very very Blessed.

PS: Our house is on the market. HA right?! Justin has a plan for this family and he is boss. So come buy our house! :)

The End.

Phew.

get busy

you know that speed clean thing that we do when someone is gonna pop over or our hubby's are in route home from work? oh you know...you had a rough day/you were on facebook too much/there was a real housewives marathon/you get the idea. you run around in a mad panic and throw things here there and everywhere. shove the unfolded clothes back into the dryer. pull the comforter up..who the heck cares where the sheet is. a quick counter top intervention. flush a few toilets. slap on some lipstick and VOILA! you are a domestic goddess.

oh you dont do this ever? then stop reading now because we are no longer friends.

anyways, i was thinking today that there are times that i do this with my spiritual life. i get fired up and run to my bible and soak as much in as i can or i start a new study or have a great conversation with a friend about where the Lord wants me.

but the thing is...i always realize that the Lord wants me with Him all the time. i have this bursting "camp high" feeling right now and its so moving that i want to bottle it up and spritz some on next month. i have come a LONG long way in the past 18 months. i have redirected myself in many areas. some were harder than others. i had to mold my surroundings and do some serious spring cleaning before i was able to give a big part of myself to Him.

i thought i may miss out on something cool and worldly if i gave too much of me to the Lord. well i was missing out big time. i am so excited that i stopped and smelled the beautiful roses that Jesus laid out for me. i have learned through the past 5 years that He is without a doubt my strength and heart and guardian....but there is SO so so much more. He is my all. ALL. that is a lot of stuff.

i read recently that ghandi said "i like your christ, but i do not like your christians. your christians are nothing like your christ" well humph. and darn because that is true in many cases. i will speak only for myself, but judgmental and irrational and over emotional about silly stuff....i bet those were things that Christ was NOT.

how can i strive to be more like Him?

this does NOT mean how can i strive to be more like him when:

a. i am at church

b. i am praying

c. i am at a church function

d. i am doing bible study

e. you get the idea

how can i strive to be more like Him ALL the time.

a. when i am in a bad mood

b. when i want to punch the insurance lady in the face

c. when my kids dump out the blankety blank all over the flipping blank.

d. when justin works late for the 9th day this week

e. when haters are hatin

f. when the doctor tells justin his prognosis just got a wee shorter

g. oops....i have a lot more of these :(

i want people to look at our family and see His light shining through. NOT just because we have a juicy story to share...but because THAT is just who we are. i feel like there is this huge parade going down main street right now and i want to be IN it screaming and shouting my love for the lord. i dont want to be standing on the side waiting for a lollipop to smack me in the face. i dont want to watch the parade go by. i want to be more purposeful in all things that i do.

i am thankful for the last 7 months. its been like a boot camp for life. we trimmed a lot of fat around here. ooey gooey non christ filled fat. yuck. goodbye.

i dont know if we would have the focus we do right now if justin was not sick. so i am thankful for this opportunity. its an opportunity to put a WHOLE lot of things in order and perspective. its a DEEP CLEAN. its a bleach the toilets and dust the ceiling vans and vacuum under the couch kind of cleaning.

i am going to deep clean my life. over and over.

you should join me.

twenty twelve.

I am not usually much of a resolutions girl. I constantly make resolutions all year and the pressure of big ones in January usually just stresses me out. But this year I have decided that this is a perfect time to get focused and make some goals.

1. We are back on the makers diet. We fell off for a little while there with all the craziness of life BUT Justins resting blood sugar level is around 250...so it was time to make a lifestyle change.

2. I will continue to trust the Lords big plan for the peeps in this mac shack.

3. I will shake them haters off.

4. I will read the bible chronologically following this plan: http://www.esv.org/assets/pdfs/rp.chronological.pdf

Thanks Mandy for sharing!

5. I will yearn for my loved ones with the love of christ jesus (phil 1:8).

6. I will make a better effort of QUALITY time with my family and close friends.

7. I will try to have less urges to break my phone when doctors offices/insurance companies put me on hold for 57482 hours.

8. I will love my family each day like it may be our last day together.

Ok so I dont have 10. But I think 8 is good for now. I am not sure how I feel about a new year. What could this year possibly have in store for us? I dont know...but bring it on twenty twelve.

In other news: We are currently scheduled to follow up/more testing with eye dr, see the neurologist, pain management dr, pulmonologist, hematologist, have a chemo infusion and go to cleveland. It is going to be a busy month. Scheduling all of that was just short of a nightmare, but I kept my panties out of a wad (most of the time) and got it done. Please pray that each appointment is informative and that we do not need any new doctors. I think we have each part of the body covered at this point.

Pray for sweet little Bryce Mac as he has been asking lots of questions lately about Daddy. He is concerned and although he is easily distracted by fruit snacks or the disney channel...it still hurts our hearts to hear him ask. He has a tender heart and we share with him as much as we feel is necessary for a six year old and we ask him to pray for daddy every single day. And he proudly does.

There is a contract on our Houston house (PRAISE JESUS!) so please stop and pray that everything will be smooth sailing and we can kiss that baby goodbye! It would be one less thing to worry about and then we can start making big decisions on our long term plans here.

Trying to keep this world organized is becoming a bigger task each day. I am comforted in knowing that this is the specific job that the Lord chose for me. I am sad that we have to know this type of "suffering" but I am thankful for the way God has made his presence so very clear. Doing this without Him on our team is unimaginable.

Join us in our makers/paleo fast at www.justinishungry.blogspot.com

thanks for keeping up

xoxo

a little christmas magic

This Christmas we definitely felt an urgency to do something different and really make it special. Justin wanted to make this Christmas memorable. He suggested using the cottage at the river house to celebrate the special weekend and it was a huge success!

I have never enjoyed my family so much. The Lord provided such perfect time for each of us to spend together. Justin and I really got some one on one time that we REALLY needed. We had uninterrupted time with the kids and no silly distractions. We bundled up and ate yummy comfort food and did NOT talk about being sick. It was precious time indeed.

It was sad coming back to the reality of our world the next day. Straight back to a doctors appointment with more concerning news. I had to mourn a little when we returned. I had to refocus on what needed to be done and where my head needed to be. I wish my head could stay at the river house with the beautiful scenery and cozy pajama time. But that is not the reality that the Lord has placed at our feet. He has given us something big to endure. It is not something for us to accomplish or defeat..that is His job. It is just our job to glorify Him each tricky step of the way. So we are back home and as burden free as we can be. Striving to lay it all at his feet and just trying to keep that little magic river house spirit alive here.

This is where we got to stay! So blessed with such generous family that is willing to

share their beautiful home with us.

Christmas Eve cookies for Santa and grapes for the reindeer and

a sad farewell to our friend JJ Bean.

Our little Christmas tree!

Christmas Breakfast! Green pancakes and bacon :)

Followed by cupcakes for Jesus' birthday of course.

Daddy's Deer

Mommy's Deer

I am so sad that her tongue is hanging out like that. So unbecoming. I may never do that again.

We made snowflakes!

And cookies...

with LOTS of icing!

We hung a sign so Santa could find us!

The boys had some fun at the river. All they needed was pajamas, jackets and pop pop!