Sunday, January 26, 2014

justin update

Today I am updating from my cozy the Methodist hospital. I am exhausted, the kind of exhausted that only black coffee and praise songs can even make a dent in. I feel like I could just crawl up in a bawl and sleep for days....but in the same breath I feel like I could put on my tennis shoes and run a half marathon right now. Weird, I know. God is still holding us so tightly down here at the "bottom"...we continue to need him for every breath. We have no idea what tomorrow brings, next week or anything after that. We don't know if Justin will go home Tuesday, we don't know what his plan will be when he does get him. We don't know why this is happening. We don't know if it will happen again. We don't know anything...except that our hope lies in Him. Justin's every heartbeat is given to him by our Father. He has written a beautiful story and we want to skip ahead to the end to see what happens. But, we just cannot. God's storybook just doesnt work that way.
Here is the scoop...last Tuesday Justin had his chemo treatment. Wednesday he started experiencing pain, fevers and swelling. Thursday  morning he visited with his oncologist and she sent him straight over to have his port removed due to infection in the port. The port accesses his main arteries so infection would no doubt hit the blood stream. Justin's primary dr (who is literally a gift from Jesus who LISTENS to us and hears us) consulted with us and with his oncologist and Justin was admitted into the hospital on Thursday afternoon. We are sitting here for an indefinite amount of time watching blood cultures and white blood cell counts. IV's are busting left and right. Every vein in his arms have been poked and they are swollen and black and blue. The Internal Med Dr here wants to put in a pic line, but that cant be done until we can get more answers on this infection. We are stuck.
There is no place to go from here but to our knees. Justin continuously prays for grace and mercy.
We miss our kids. Please pray for them Pray God's mighty armor will protect their hearts and minds while mom and dad are away...again.
Justin is miserable this time around. He just wants to rest. He is on endless amounts of strong antibiotics and they hurt going in his little tired veins. He just wants to rest. We love you all, but this time around he just doesn't really want visitors. This is hard for me because I want you all here. My mind gets tired and weary watching him be poked and struggling to do basically everything...but God is wanting me to turn to Him right now and I just can't argue with that.
I havent really left except to bring the boys up for a few minutes. I will leave tonight because Justin desperately wants me to be at the Still Water Dinner. It is important to him that I honor this commitment and I am grateful for his selfless heart.
I love of all of your texts. I can't answer them all...we are too loved! I would be texting all day...but I read them and we love them. We love the scripture. It comes at just the right time.
An infectious disease doctor is coming tomorrow to asses the situation and make a recommendation. We are looking forward to that, but we are also not leaving any of this in the hands of doctors. God gave Justin a word for such a time as this. We are waiting expectantly on God's plan and we will scream glory from the rooftops when He takes us to the next place he has prepared for us.

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