Wednesday, July 8, 2015

quickie on blessings

I love reading about old Jewish customs and traditions. Mostly because it gives me a glimpse of what Jesus and his buddies were really up to, but it also helps me understand scripture in a different way. We are three months out from Justin's exit from this earth. 93 days without him... it feels like 1 million. In the old city of Jerusalem there is a Wailing Wall (its construction dates back to around 19 BC) which was/is considered one of the holiest places for Jews to turn for blessings and prayer. I have spent time studying the word blessing plenty over the years because I personally think it is the most misused word in the entire english language, or in the Christian-ese language anyhow. Bless means to give thanks or to kneel. Kneel down in praise and give thanks to the LORD. So the blessing before a meal is intended to thank the Lord for the food before you...not to ask God to thank it for you. Make sense? It's ok if it doesn't, just bear with me.
So, when I first heard about this Wailing Wall I thought hmmm that would be nice. A designated place to just go LET IT ALL OUT. Just roll up, do the deed and be on with your day. And just as I was convinced this one stop shop would just really be convenient and how dare I not live in Jerusalem to walk more closely in the footsteps of my savior...BAM. Holy Spirit.
That guy can mess up a pity party like its nobodies business. He reminded me in that moment of mourning my beloved Wailing Wall that when the temple veil was torn I no longer needed a VIP pass to my king. He is present always. And no matter my circumstance I am to praise (BLESS) him always. Whether I am curled up in a ball longing for my husband...the father of my three children to be with us, if even for a moment, or I am catching a glimpse of joy in our circumstances and seeing and feeling His mercy and grace...BOTH are an opportunity to bless my Lord.
And in those times when I am way too immature and mad and flustered to muster up the words...I put on this song and it does it for me. And I can lay there and pout and let the Spirit intercede for me.

Bless the Lord oh my soul, oh my soul 
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul 
I'll worship your Holy name 

How generous is He? He didn't give me a wall...He gave me so much more. I am living hour by hour right now. Nothing feels normal and everything feels empty. But, the more time I invest in finding things to thank Him for...the more GOOD I find. His ways are so great and so majestic and so so much bigger than my silly little brain. Bless you Lord for rescuing me. Every. Single. Day. 

• This link leads to what has been my most read post in 2015...I love looking back and seeing pieces of the story coming together. I wrote this just 5 days before Justin passed. My God is relentless!

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