Friday, October 16, 2009

fantastic fall

Brody loves pumpkins!
They had to see EVERY single one before we picked the pumpkin!

My big boy Bryce

Fall Soccer
So Fall is off to an official start and we have been extra busy enjoying every day! I have been making yummy things like pumpkin cake, chicken and dumplings, vegetable stew and chili!!! Fall soccer has started up again with the YMCA, Brody just loves to cheer on his brother! After haircuts today, I took the boys to the pumpkin patch where we spent atleast an hour browsing through the 19 million pumpkins to chose the perfect ones for our porch. Bryce got a gigantic one, Brody got one about the same size as he is and they even picked one out for is about candy corn sized :)
Big News for Baby Brody...the 2010 Down Syndrome Association Calendar has been released and our little muffin is (drum roll please) MR. FEBRUARY!!! Ugh its too flippin adorable. God is so amazingly stinkin great.
With the fall decorations and cooler weather some heavy thoughts have been placed on my heart. Memories of my mom come flooding in and the pain of her missing out on this beautiful time of year with my boys is pretty yucky. For some reason I keep thinking of the few days after she packed up and moved to Heaven. I think of the shock I felt, the hurt, anger, confusion and fear. The day Justin and I went to pick out her casket and plot...the anxiety we felt as the man brought out the price list...the discouraging feeling that none of the caskets were pretty enough for her body to lie in. Walking through the grave site to see the available plots was so disgusting, none of those pieces of ground were where I wanted my mom to be. None. As we sat in the cold room making these decisions, deciding how him and I alone would come up with the money to pay for it all, I just prayed to God that he would make it go away. That she would call me that minute and say it was all a joke...or that she would even call and tell me what she wanted me do do...tell me that the dress that I had purchased for her was perfect. I wanted to know that she would forgive me if we had to have her cremated (which we did). At a certain moment while I was sitting alone in her back yard crying over all these heavy decisions that had been placed upon me...I felt this overwhelming wash of peace and comfort. I immediately made the decisions that needed to be made and never looked back. For some reason this pretty weather made me think of all this...and I am not really sure why. I am thankful to God for my strength and His constant reminders of His love for me. Now bring on some more of this fantastic fall...

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