humble pie for dinner!

When I get way bummed...I look back through old blog posts. I try to pick out posts from when I knew the day was worse than this. And if on THAT day I could put my chin up and shout some praise to my savior...than I can sure do that on THIS day.
With Stupid Sandy getting in our "honeymoon" plans way... (and thats what i am calling it. stupid sandy. you cant make me stop.) I have had to dig down to archives and find this post: my date with jesus it was sure one of more popular ones of last year. and while i never understand why people continue to keep stopping by here when there are legit people who use legit punctuation writing legit profound things...i am grateful for this forum to collect my thoughts and feelings. i am grateful that it isnt just my dad and nana that check up on us :) i am grateful for my community that continues to grow all the time.
soooo...i was having a pity party last night. (which i am great at fyi) i was huffing and puffing about my RUINED vacation. i was mad that the fancy river boat we were supposed to eat at flooded. i was mad that all the taxis and subways are under water. i was mad that a big fat stupid hurricane was ruining yet ANOTHER exciting time for us. i was mad that justin wasnt as mad as i was. i was mad that we were finally going on our first vacation alone and that it was now going to be the WORST TRIP EVER.
then i remembered how i had so maturely sat with my mentor and told her "i am just not going to have expectations, i know justin may not feel well and i will be content with whatever we may or may not be able to do"

Well thank you very much self. I didnt mean I wasnt going to have SOME expectations! I mean who was I kidding? My dear friend Laura and I had every minute planned out. Every restaurant mapped! I was going to be OK with the possibility that I may spend time in a hotel watching my sweet husband rest...but I was NOT ok with a stupid natural disaster stepping in and being STUPID.

Yeah. You can say it. BRAT!!!

So, my large slice of humble pie was served and I mourned the loss of my "perfect trip" and then I got over my self. I remembered that last year when we had this crazy out of nowhere date night together in a hotel...I spent this intimate time with the Lord that I couldnt have planned if I tried. What could I be standing in the way of this time? Justin and I will spend more quality time together than we have (outside of a hospital that is) just on the airplane ride. I quickly retract all of my whining and replace it with gratefulness. The fact that we are going anywhere at all is a gift. I can be assured that there is a bridge in New York City with hungry people under it. I stand in awe at my selfishness.

Mourning just goes that way. I wish we could see it before it hits. And before you think I am a loon for "mourning" a few itinerary changes on a trip...please know that I am pretty experienced in the mourning department and use that term lightly here.
I have mourned many times since college. I mourned when my parents divorced and the picture I had of a family changed forever. I mourned when we chose to have a baby before marriage. We had changed our lives with one decision and the picture perfect image of my life was changed. I mourned when Brody was born and our family dynamic became new and our perfectly mapped out family had become different than I had planned. I mourned deeply at the loss of my mom. My life will never be the same now that she is gone and is a daily work in progress to deal with. And now I mourn daily for the "new normal"...I am the odd man out 98% of the time. I have been blessed to the ends of the earth and back, but Justin's illness has changed our lives forever. I understand mourning. I understand that we ALL do it differently. I understand that Christ begs for our burdens, but sometimes we want to just clinch them in our fists for just a little bit longer. The sweet release of those burdens is like a big bowl of chocolate fondue. Sweet and rich and flowing with goodness. I feel so relieved in knowing that no matter how long I choose to be stubborn and sad and act like a tough guy...He is waiting patiently to carry that load for me. I have an opportunity to carry his easy yoke and light burden. I have the option to be new each day. hallelujah to that folks.
happy trick or treat day friends. please pray for our trip. pray that i carry His yoke while we are there...and not my own.

pumpkin mania

so apparently the macs dig the pumpkin patch. we have been SEVERAL times. we just cannot help ourselves. my kids do cute things there. and thats a fact!

this moment goes in the books. brody's dear friend mason bought him this pumpkin with his very own money. we are so blessed to have such great pals for our boys.

costume ready! check out those cuties...and the vans. cannot even handle it!

this little peach pie here is brody's one and only. i caught these cuties holding hands and gazing into each others eyes at brody's preschool fall fest. daddy sure was proud of this pic. 

Bryce won the teacher experience at the school fair. 

He got to visit the pumpkin patch with his teacher and bring a friend from class. 

There could not possibly be one more ounce of cuteness in this pic. 

Fun times with fun friends this fall!!

top 10

1. PUMPKINS

We have had lots of fun with pumpkins the past few weeks. 

We visited the Medina Pumpkin Patch at Love Creek Orchards. Such a fun day :)

two brody's in a barrel 

braxton liked all the apples best. fresh apple juice and yummy apples!

 the boys had fun picking out clothes to dress scarecrows 

braxton loved following brody around in the hay maze

brody brushing a horse. the animals were definitely brodys highlight of the day.

three little buddies listening intently to the story about "po cat stew"

Then we visited the Boerne Pumpkin Patch with some friends!

the sweet pumpkin patch lady read the kids a story!

Now before you think we got rid of Bryce....he is still around :) He was just doing other fun things while we were at the pumpkin patches!

We also did a little pumpkin painting. 

2. ARISE

One of my awesome friends put on an event for college girls at Oak Hills. I was so excited to get to take Katelyn! She is so precious to our family and I loved getting some one on one time with her. We got to share about Taking it to the Streets AND eat junk food. Score. 

3. NB MOPS

I was asked to be the speaker for New Braunfels MOPS October Meeting. I was grateful for the opportunity to share some of our journey with some fellow mamas. My dear friend Mandy came with me for support which was so fun! I shared our story and also discussed transparency, intentional friendship and christian cliches. Fun to be on a different end of the MOPS spectrum and I loved every second of it! 

4. POP POP

Bryce has got to so some fun stuff with Pop Pop lately! I am so blessed that my Dad chooses to come hang out with us so often. I still need to post pics of their VERY special camping trip. Pop Pop came in town this weekend to help Bryce get ready for hunting season. They went to practice shooting...or whatever it is you do when you "get ready for hunting" I am pretty sure it may mean to leave my house and go to the ice cream store. 

5. BASEBALL

We finished up a great fall ball season. Bryce played coach pitch for the first time and he did great. He was the youngest kid on his team and he kept up well. BYAA is always a HUGE commitment time wise. I know Bryce loves it...but I am never too disappointed when a season ends :)

6. RADIANT

Some of my girlfriends who go to a different church invited me to their womens retreat. I was excited to go have some girl time and also way pumped to hear one of my favorite authors, Jen Hatmaker, speak. I loved being challenged spiritually. I am still processing what all I got out of the retreat, but I love the way it pushed my heart. 

 7. FAIR

The big boys had their country fair at school. We had a fun time, but I got NO pictures :( They would never sit still long enough. Bryce loved the strongman game and Brody loved fishing for ducks. He actually got IN the duck pool. Of course. Bryce won the teacher experience and gets to do something fun with his teacher after school tomorrow. 

8. DATE

Bryce is a very relational child. Quality time is his love language for sure. Friday night I took him on a "date night" to spend some special time with him. We had pizza and root beer floats at BJ's and then went downtown to the Magik Theater. We saw a cute show and had a great time. I cannot believe he is 7 years old. I know there will come a time when he may not want to hang out with me on a Friday night...so I am grateful to take advantage of that now. 

9. NEW YORK

We are busy planning our very FIRST grown up, all by ourselves, no kids, no friends, super romantic VACATION! We leave for New York in just TWO weeks. My dear friend Laura has been busy giving me tips on what we cant miss! I am now realizing that it is going to be COLD...HELLO! So I need to start planning what I am going to bring to wear. Because...today I wore shorts. 

10. JUSTIN

And last but certainly not least...please pray for the man behind all this fun. Please pray for a renewed sense of peace regarding prognosis and symptoms. Please pray for rest and less flare ups. Pray for energy and pain free days. Please pray that the bad days will take a back seat to the good days. 

Just never stop praying for my handsome husband.