Tuesday, March 10, 2009

part 2

Lots of people take lemons and make lemonade...my mom would take lemons, add some limes and a few other yummy things and make margaritas. I am so thankful for the lessons she taught me about having fun and living in the moment. She never worried about tomorrow. She would tell me to stop planning so much and just let it happen. She would listen to any problem and then just say "oh we will figure it out"...she just didnt believe in sweating the small stuff. When she wanted to do something...she just did it. When she wanted something done, she wanted it done right then. It was her way or the highway and I really really will miss HER WAY.

I am still very numb from it all and slightly emotionless. When things are quiet I wait for her phone call and it always brings me to tears. When I sit down to eat dinner or turn on a tv show...I wait for her to call. She always called right when I started to do something and I will forever miss that. She always had the answer and always acted like each thing I said was the most amazing and exciting thing she had ever heard in her lifetime. Nobody can replace that, nobody can care as much as she did. There is not a soul in this world who will love my boys like she did. She spoiled them endlessly. I feel very sad that they will no longer have that. I am broken hearted that they will not understand the things she did for them and gave up for them. She bought Bryce everything he even looked at...and although I always told her she was doing too much for him...she would tell me to shut up and mind my own business...God what I would give to hear her tell me that one more time.

I love remembering her. I love the memories she left me. I love that everytime I see a butterfly or pretty flowers or something pink and gaudy that I think of her. Flip flops and mariachi bands. Costume jewelry and hair pieces. Palais Royale, french manicures, red toenails, big sunglasses and the beach. Slippers, spam, trash in the sink, the word delightful and Christmas. I thank God for each of these beautiful memories.