Table for 5 please....

Justin and I are pleased to announce that we are expecting our 3rd (and final) child! Bryce and Brody are super excited to be big brothers!! We decided that we were ready and although this little gift came a TAD sooner than we thought....we are VERY proud and excited! I am about 8 or 9 weeks and should be due mid December, but I have my first ultrasound on Thursday and will have more info after that. I know everyone wants me to have a girl...but I just dont think its in the cards guys :) I am destined to be surrounded by smelly boys my whole life! I need prayers for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby! I have had a hard time in my pregnancies and I just pray that I can cook this baby up good and get him out safely for everyone to love on!
PS: I know I didnt call everyone personally and tell ya'll...but I feel like dog poop and talking on the phone makes me want to vomit :)

Preliminary name list:
Braxton Lee (after my hot mama obviously)
Braden
and for girls (which i am not going to get too excited about lol)
Macy JoLee
Brilee Jo
And of course we are open to ideas :)

BRODY IS COOL

Birthday cont....

So...Horseshoe Bay Resort was INCREDIBLE! Justin completely surprised me and it was a MUCH needed getaway after the year we have had. I was pregnant on my last birthday and I cannot really think of the last time him and I went anywhere completely on our own...was it our honeymoon? Anyways, we got to the resort and rode jet skis, laid in the pool (that overlooked the lake!) ate yummy delicious food and yummy frozen drinks delivered by cute boys in khaki shorts! It was a dream to sleep in and have a romantic lakeside breakfast. We really had a great time and I am so appreciative for all his thoughfulness!
I was thrilled to get back to see my precious boys who painted rocks for me :) We got to open a big box from my dad and he had sent presents for everyone! I am feeling very blessed this week! Although, through all the wonderful events it has been severely painful to do this all without my mom. I know she is with my in my heart...but I just cannot help but feel angry that I cannot share all this with her in person.

birthday things so far

I am turning 25 tomorrow and the birthday fun has been going full force since last Thursday! Dena, Lisa, Katie and Sara took me to a super fun girls night out dinner and showered me with amazing presents :) I came home to a fun filled box from Nana and then had an awesome birthday lunch with Sunni, Lisa, Dena, Kelly and Sara with kiddos...more presents and more fun! My mailbox has been filled with sweet cards (an extra special card from my Aunt Debbie) and although this birthday is my first without my mom and I am not sure exactly how to truly celebrate without her, my friends and family have gone above and beyond to make this a special week for me! Now the icing on the cake...My oh so amazing hubby is taking me on a SURPRISE TRIP today! The kids are staying with a friend and I was told to pack a bathing suit, a nice dress and shorts! We are leaving in just a few minutes and I am peeing in my pants with excitement...look for a new post thursday night with details on this super secret expedition!

all the stuff that goes on here

So great things have been happening that have kept me away from the computer.
1. Brody's photoshoot was a super success! He was so stinkin adorable, I actually cried when we went back to look at the proofs. Our sweet little miracle baby has been through SO much. He has been poked and cut and opened up...medicated and medicated some more...and this kid is the happiest, most loving and content baby I have ever seen. He is proud to be Brody and we are so in love with him! Now his photos will be sent to the Downs Syndrome Association of SA and they will determine where his photo will go in the calendar. Obviously we think he should be on the cover (lol) but thats not for us to decide!
2. The end of the preschool year has come! Bryce has done super amazing this year at school, we were blessed with an awesome teacher who has a heart for our family. She has taught Bryce such awesome things. I am so proud that my 3 year old writes his name, knows his spanish colors, can count to 20, knows our address AND what city all his friends live in (ie he knows we live in helotes, andrew lives in boerne, logan lives in pipe creek) ha are these considered "cities"!
3. Mother's Day come and went and I did not have a total fit about it. I missed my mom so much on that day that it hurt to the core of my bones. I just so badly wanted to take her to eat crab legs and have a margarita like I have every year! I remember last year's mothers day we met her at Joe's Crab Shack, I was pregnant with Brody and Bryce was so proud to show her how he could go down the slide like a big boy. We brought her a HUGE plant and presents and it was just a great time. We went to babies r us after and she bought me presents for Brody. I will forever keep those memories in my heart.
My precious family did everything they could to make the day special for me. They got me a beautiful james avery necklace and some other sweet gifts, plus made me breakfast in bed then later took me on a picnic in the park. I love my 3 guys so much! Justin has given me the best gift in the world, and that is the chance to be a mother. We have created two fabulous children and for that I am forever thankful. We spent the rest of the day with amazing friends that lift me up and always happen to know the best things to say. Please lots of special prayers for my brother, his heart is so heavy with hurt and sadness. He is still so angry and hurt by the same person I am and my mom was. We have such a burden of anger towards her and my brother truly feels she is the one the ended my moms life and I pray for his strength in forgiveness. I have struggled with it so badly and I have had tons and tons of support. I just pray that he will be strong.
4. Things have also been exciting with MOPS! I have been asked to join the leadership team for next year and I am extremely honored and excited. The steering team is created of about 8 women who run the show for Boerne MOPS. I will be the new Creative Activities Director and I just cannot wait to get started. MOPS has blessed my life in so many ways and I was very blessed to have shared my testimony at our last meeting. It has been a long time since I stood up and spoke in front of 100 people and I have to say that I was excited and nervous and I had to really do what I could not to pee my pants (yes I was a little nervous!) WHAT? Me? SHY!? Seriously. I am looking forward to our retreat in a couple of weeks!

Ok that is all for now. I have tons of pictures I need to post, but its time to get all these men dressed for church!

who cries at walgreens?

well i do. i cried my little face off in the mothers day card aisle at walgreens today. it was a lot of sappy lines and pretty butterfly prints with i love you mom and thank you for my life and it was just more than i could handle. i always put so much thought into my mom's cards and although i was there buying cards for all the other moms in my life, i just could not help but think about what i would have got for her. it hurts my heart that i have to live each day without her. i want to hear her smiling voice (and yes she totally did have a SMILING voice)! bryce and i continue to talk about her on a daily basis and it feels so incredible. her urn is slightly intimidating for me...and brings on quite a few too many emotions...BUT its the most gorgeous thing i have ever had and its just a speechless feeling to have it. thinking of my mom's life humbles me beyond belief. i have so many more lives to touch. God exalts me and for that i am thankful for His guiding hand. He uses me in the most incredible ways and although i often feel inferior and lost to my mom's death...i KNOW His plan for me is GREAT and i am honored to be used in such humbling ways.
on to other news...my calendar man was such a super star today! we did his DSA calendar shoot this morning and i CANNOT wait to see the results next week. he is such a little muffin and peach and pumpkin pie with cherries all over and i want to just eat him UP! Bryce skipped school today so he could be there for his bubby's special day. Bryce is probably Brody's number one fan and its cuter than cute. I love those little boys guts to the MAX :) God is great!

quick

Just a quick note to post the latest news. I had my first weekend away from Brody this past weekend...and I missed him like crazy BUT I had a super great amazing time! I swear both the boys got bigger after only 2 days! It was so pleasant to sleep in and have coffee in peace, but it was also great to get back to the normal everyday chaos that I live :)
Brody is becoming a chatterbox...he loves to lay in his bed in the morning and blah bleeee bleh ahhh to himself. I think he is singing to me in the monitor (although Justin calls it something other than singing). His big photo shoot is this Thursday...so keep big smiles in your prayers.
Bryce has had soccer cancelled for the past few weeks due to weather and swine flu, so we are looking forward to getting back on track with that this Saturday.
We have really enjoyed having my mom's beautiful urn in the house. It is so peaceful for me to know that she is in our home and will stay here with us forever. This is where she wanted to be and I am grateful to give her such an exciting place to view our world. Mother's Day is coming up and although I am proud to be a mommy and look forward to having my boys celebrate me, I cannot help dread the day a little. I always gave my mom such exciting gifts and took her to eat at Joe's Crab Shack for Crab Legs...and I am so bummed we can't do that this year. Part of me wants to just skip the day altogether and just pretend its just another Sunday. I know these moments are going to continue to arise and I will struggle with them, so please continue to pray for my peace and strength.
Our social schedule has been a madhouse lately...my calendar is bursting and I love it! Does not leave me too much time to blog though! I plan to post lots of pics from the past few weeks in the next few days.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Punky Doodle Easter Pics

Pics of my very handsome boys :)

camo man

tree man

These are just a couple of sweet pictures of Bryce from this Sunday after church. He saw this really cool tree and said "dad i need you to take my picture over there now dad, right now" so we did! They are small because they are from the phone.

soccer videos!

Sorry the picture is not the best on these! The camera we have right now does not shoot super good quality unless the lighting is perfect...plus it is so hard to find him in the sea of crazies!

a few more easter

We had a super fun time at the river house on Easter. My camera takes the stinkiest indoor pics...but you get the point!

Easter

Our very special friend, Kelly Simmons, took this awesome picture of the boys at the Easter Egg hunt. Although it looks like Brody is about to be dropped on his head....he was really having a super fun time! Bryce was so proud to hold him. Thanks Punky Doodle Photography!

dont push me please

This past week has been filled with the most difficult challenges and heartbreaking news. First of I would like to express my sadness for all the terrible losses. My family has been praying so hard for our precious family member with Downs that was having such terrible problems with her lungs. We were so saddened to hear that there was nothing more the doctors could do and sweet Victoria will be making her way to live with her creator. As a parent, I cannot imagine their pain, and I will continue to pray for their strength through this difficult time. Another sweet friend from high school was also taken too soon and my heart breaks for his family as well. Death is so difficult and we all grieve in such different ways, but one thing is for sure...we have to cherish each thing we have been blessed with every moment of the day. We have also been praying for Ann Marie and her precious family. We pray each night that she will just STAY pregnant! We also pray hard for the other very private losses of dear friends. We pray for these beautiful people and we struggle each day knowing how horrible it is when such terrible things happen to such wonderful people. It is not fair and it is hard to imagine that things could possibly get worse. This past 8 months has been one challenge after another and at some point enough just has to be enough. I need my mom so badly during these times and I just thank her each day for all the lessons she left behind with me.
Our week was filled with so much anguish and pain with the battle of an egotistical doctor who was improperly medicating my son. The feeling that I had in the very bottom of my heart was that something was NOT right with Brody and something needed to change. Our pulmonologist fought me so terribly, called me an unfit mother who was medically neglecting my child, hurt me in ways that a mother could never imagine, refused to reevalute Brody's medical condition, alleged that the "loss of my mother was causing me to make irrational decisions for my son", told me I had no right to a second opinion and brought my entire family to our knees. Praise God that I stayed strong with my instincts (no matter WHAT the consequences) and took Brody against medical advice OUT OF HIS CARE! Praise our beautiful Lord that I listened to His words and NOT the words of an emotional doctor. Brody is now OFF all medications that were previously prescribed and under the care of a new and fabulous doctor. We have pin pointed exactly what was causing low oxygen sats, his previous pneumonia and his breathing issues!! I am so proud to say that eventhough I was challenged in the most extreme ways...I followed through with what I KNEW was right and got to the bottom of Brody's health situation. My heart breaks for other parents who do not have the courage to stand up in situations like these....what that doctor was doing could have been fatal for my child. Brody was aspirating and could have seriously damaged his lungs.
I am still struggling with the fact that I am not as depressed as everyone wants me to be. I am a strong person and we all deal with things in different ways. I still have an extreme amount of anger towards the people who hurt my mom in the end and that is something that I am not sure will go away. I tried to befriend her and forgive her and let it all go...but I just cannot. She has continued to lie and hurt others and I just will not have her in my life ever again. I know that my mom was heart broken and I know my mom did not forgive her...and I just cannot either.

In other news...we had a fab Easter weekend. The kiddos hunted eggs, well actually the kids walked around eating candy out of the eggs and then threw the eggs back into the dirt. We relaxed and visited with amazing friends and I even got to spend two days in a row with the hubster! Justin took Bryce hunting and Bryce killed a pig with "his powers" aka Justin's gun. Brody is continuing to get up on all fours and scoot around like a mad man! I have been given full creative rights for his photo shoot in May so pass on any cute ideas you have.
Keep all these sweet people in your prayers...and please continue to pray for us!

ME LIKE VEGGIES!!!

ME

Just a quick note to ask for continued prayers. It is such a blessing to have such sweet and loving friends parying for my family and thinking about us. This past 7 months has been full of challenge after challenge and I ask you to please pray for my strength. My heart is full of great happiness and great sadness, which is a beautiful feeling. I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to have loved someone so dearly and even though the pain is unexplainable, I am still so thankful for it. Dealing with death is something I have never had to experience and its a daily battle. It has now been a month and I still miss her like I just lost her yesterday. We talk about her often, we praise her, we laugh about her and we tell stories about her. I am doing so much better with dealing with the anger I had towards the family members who caused her hurt and pain at the end. I have never been a big fan of people lying to themselves (and I know I have talked about this before) and that is what still hurts. You have to accept the damage that you caused before you move on, you cannot just try to hurt others to make yourself feel better. Our Lord gave us the ability to forgive and be forgiven...but acceptance must come first. God gave me the most amazing path to follow and I am so eager to see what is to come. I know that there will be more hardships along the way, but His plan has a purpose and that is that.

Everything else....

Big news for the muffin man....
Brody has been asked to model for the 2010 Down Syndrome Association Calendar! I mean we knew this guy was a cutie, but this is super big and awesome news. I started crying when I opened the letter, and it was not just because I am a sappy over-proud mommy, but because when Brody was born and the Association sent us a calendar...my mom said she just knew Brody was going to be in it. In other Brody related news...his therpist was elated after he last visit. This little guy is all over the place and moving in all the right directions. He will be crawling in no time. I have started him on baby meats and he loves them, but they make him toot like its nobodys business. Muffin is the kind of guy who NEVER misses a meal, he is starting to grab for his spoon so I will do it faster...I think he would just prefer me to pour his dinner straight down his throat.
A little prayer request please...My sweet friend Ann Marie needs lots of prayers for a LONG pregnancy. You can follow her at www.prayforcoy.blogspot.com

Field Trip

We had an eventful field trip to Enchanted Springs Ranch last week with the ever amazing Ms. Kelly. The day included a longhorn ride, wagon ride, a bull whippin - gun slinging - doggy trickin show from Pistol Packin Paula, a lesson on bathing from a cowboy plus some other fun stuff! Pistol Packin Paula (which just so you know is my favorite thing to say) asked for a volunteer and Bryce and his favorite friend Benjamin (an equally silly and crazy child) jumped up and got roped by "PPP"! I got video and will eventually add that on here. Brody enjoyed the show too which is so cute. He is so alert and into everything that is going on and that is so exciting...more on that in the next post.

Soccer Time!

Yep, I am officially a soccer mom! Bryce is really enjoying soccer so much! We play with the YMCA and have a super adorable coach and fun little team mates. The first practice the temp. was somewhere in the ranch of negative 0 and we froze our faces off...but again, Bryce had fun and that is all that matters. I do not think Brody appreciated it so much...BUT he did have a blast at the second practice watching his brother run amuck! Bryce really does great...he has learned how to dribble, pass and shoot and of course play red light green light (which is ever important to your soccer skills!). My dad got to go with us this past practice which was awesome and I think he was super impressed at how attentive Bryce can be when he wants to :) I have some videos to upload, but its too early in the morning to try and figure that out so for now pics will just have to do.

Wildlife Ride

Here are some pics from the wildlife tour we did. Key points of this adventure:
* It was super fun, but we could have driven around our neighborhood and seen these animals for free.
* The Ostrich will kill you.
* Brody was not very interested in this and slept most of the time.
* Bryce did not understand why when he screamed "HEY COW, get over here and eat some of these hungry's" the cows did not come a runnin...?
* Indian men who hang out of their cars with a video camera should be thrown into the rhino cage.
* Bryce thought it was awesome and that is really all that matters :)